You’ve probably seen the word discipleship on books, websites, church programs—even coffee mugs. It’s a familiar word. But for many, it’s still a foggy one.

Some hear it and think of evening Bible studies or accountability groups. Others think of spiritual disciplines, mentoring, or intense theological training. And to be honest - none of those are wrong. But none of them quite get to the heart of discipleship, either.

So we wanted to peel back the layers and ask the deeper question:

What does it really mean to follow Jesus - not just with your head or habits, but with your heart?

That’s why we wrote this series. Not to offer a program. Not to give you more rules. But to help you see that at the centre of discipleship is a Person. Not a system. Not a checklist. Just Jesus.

And when you follow Him - truly follow Him - your whole life begins to change. Not just your behaviour, but your heart. Your desires. Your sense of self. Your vision of the world. Because discipleship isn’t just about information - it’s about transformation.

Not just in your head, but in your heart.

Where your deepest loves live.

Where your identity takes root.

Where your worship ignites.

So whether you’re just starting out or looking to go deeper, we invite you to walk with us through this content. Not because we have all the answers - but because when your heart is captured by Christ, everything changes.

Let’s get to the real heart of discipleship - Jesus.

For many, discipleship means following the rules. 
Discipline. Self-control. Obedience.
It sounds noble - but it often feels heavy.

In Jesus’ time, that’s exactly how people saw discipleship. Jewish pupils followed the Law (the Torah) with great precision. They studied, memorised, and obeyed their rabbi’s teachings with intense dedication.

But then Jesus came - and turned everything upside down. Instead of saying, “Follow the Law,”, he said, “Follow me” (Mark 1:17). That was revolutionary back then and honestly, it still is today. Jesus’ call to discipleship isn’t a call to master the rules - it is a call into something far more enjoyable, deeper, and personal.

Discipleship is a call into a relationship with Jesus.

Not rules, but a relationship. A real relationship that draws you close to the One who knows you, loves you, and invites you to find life in Him.

This changes everything because all of a sudden, discipleship isn’t about doing - but about being with Jesus.

“And he appointed twelve (whom he also named apostles) so that they might be with him…” 
(Mark 3:14).

Discipleship is fundamentally relational.

Not a matter of behaviour, but a matter of the heart.

But what is the heart, anyway?

We’re more confused about the heart than just about any other part of our being. The heart can be warm or cold, tender or hard, light or heavy - and sometimes all before breakfast. It can break, sink, flutter, race, skip a beat, and even get stolen by someone we find attractive. You can wear it on your sleeve, cross it and hope to die, or swear you gave it away last Christmas. We’re told to follow it, even though we can have a change of heart… or just lose heart altogether.

How can the heart be so fragile and fierce?

So sentimental and stubborn?

It really is a poetical paradox with a pulse.

But all these sayings - as confusing as they are - point to something deeper: the heart matters.

Jesus explains why with a vivid image: if your life is like a tree, then your heart is the root system. What you believe and love in your heart (roots) will always show up in your fruit (behaviour). That’s why He said, “each tree is known by its own fruit… for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:44–45).

The rest of Scripture tells the same story - the heart is never just the place of emotion; it is the epicentre of our being (Proverbs 4:23). It’s where we treasure what matters most, where love is cultivated, and where decisions are made (Matthew 6:21, Deuteronomy 6:5, Proverbs 16:9). It holds our deepest desires, reveals our truest self, and from it overflows everything we say, do, and become (James 1:14, Proverbs 27:19, Matthew 12:34).

That’s right - our heart is so central (and vulnerable!) that whatever it is captivated by - whatever it loves - you become!

Love success and you become a work-a-holic.
Love comfort, and you become apathetic.

Love control, and you become anxious.

But love Jesus?

If your heart is captivated by Jesus - if your affections are stirred by who He is and what He has done - then you’ll become more like Him!

That’s why the heart of discipleship is the heart!
It’s about who has your heart.

So if the heart really is the heart of discipleship - because it’s both the centre of our lives and the centre of our relationship with Jesus - then we need clarity, because not everything that claims to be discipleship actually is.
Let’s start by clearing up a few misconceptions.

Discipleship is NOT:

• 🚫 A beginner’s course - you never outgrow or graduate from the need to follow Jesus.
• 🚫 Just about learning more information - It’s not just about learning more information - it’s about getting to the heart & living it out.
• 🚫 A solo journey - authentic discipleship happens in community.
• 🚫 Only for the super-spiritual - Jesus called ordinary fishermen, tax collectors and regular people into discipleship.
• 🚫 About being perfect—it’s about being transformed.

So what does real discipleship look like?

Discipleship is a lifelong journey of following Jesus together - being transformed by His grace in the context of a Christ-centred community.

That’s the big picture. But let’s break it down a little more.

Discipleship IS:

• ✅ Relational—it’s about knowing and walking with Jesus (Philippians 3:8)
• ✅ Gospel-centred—Jesus’ work, not ours, is what changes us (Ephesians 2:8-9, Titus 3:5)
• ✅ Transformational—what captures your heart, shapes your life (Proverbs 4:23, 2 Corinthians 3:18)
• ✅ Communal—we grow by discipling and being discipled (Proverbs 27:17)
• ✅ Reproducible—disciples make disciples (Matthew 28:19-20, 2 Timothy 2:2)

Our prayer is that with this biblical, heart-focused vision of discipleship, you won’t just grow in head knowledge, but be captivated by Jesus in a way that transforms even the most ordinary moments of life.

Whether discipleship is new to you, you’ve been discipled before, or you’ve even led others, this course isn’t a step-by-step program you graduate from. It’s a biblical discipleship tool—designed to help you grow deeper in your walk with Jesus and equip you to disciple others.

This journey is built around six key questions that provide a gospel-centred and heart-focused framework for discipleship.

• Chapter 1. WHAT IS DISCIPLESHIP?

PART A. GOD'S HEART

• Chapter 2. WHO IS GOD?
• Chapter 3. WHAT HAS HE DONE? 

PART B. OUR HEART

• Chapter 4. WHO AM I?
• Chapter 5. WHO ARE WE?
• Chapter 6. WHAT REMAINS OF MY OLD SELF?
• Chapter 7. WHAT FLOWS FROM MY NEW HEART?

• Chapter 8. WHY DISCIPLESHIP?

All of these questions are not designed as a once-off experience - they’ll come up again and again in your future discipleship. Taking time to reflect on them in each session will set you up for deeper growth as you follow Jesus. They can become a tool to help you engage deeply with God's Word, expose lies you are believing, uncover misplaced loves, and realign your heart to the truth.

And remember—this is just the entrée. The main course is enjoying Jesus for a lifetime. Discipleship is slow. It’s personal. It’s full of detours and wonder and hard days and unexpected joy.

But it’s also deeply worth it - because Jesus doesn’t invite you to walk alone. He promises to walk with you through every step (Matthew 28:20).

This is a chance to share your story and how Jesus has changed your life. Like the psalmist says, “Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul” Psalm 66:16. Whether you’re new to the group or have walked together for years, it’s an opportunity to reflect on God’s grace and encourage one another in the gospel.

1. Tell the story of how you came to put your faith in Jesus.
This is your gospel story—how Jesus became real to you and what it meant to trust Him.

• What were the key moments or people God used to draw you to Himself?
• What gospel truth did you come to believe at that time?
• What were you trusting Jesus for? What made the message of the gospel good news for you?
• Try to make Jesus the hero of your story—not just what you did, but what He did in you.

2. Share about a time when you experienced significant spiritual growth.
This could be a season where your love for Jesus deepened, your understanding of the gospel expanded, or your character began to change.

• What were the circumstances of that season?
• Were there specific people (mentors, leaders, friends) who helped disciple or encourage you?
• What practices, relationships, or moments helped shape your growth during that time?

3. Where do you sense the Holy Spirit stirring growth in your life right now?
This is an opportunity to name where you’re at right now in your journey of following Jesus.

• Is there an area of your heart where Jesus is drawing you closer?
• Are there patterns, fears, or doubts that He’s gently confronting?
• Is there a gospel truth you’re learning to trust more deeply?
  

"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another."
(2 Corinthians 3:18)

Many of us carry around ideas about God that didn’t come from Scripture. Instead, they come from our feelings, frustrations, circumstances, and unmet expectations. We might think:

• If God doesn’t give me a sign, He must be distant.
• If He doesn’t heal me, He must be weak.
• If He doesn’t fix my situation, He must not care.

Our natural instinct isn’t to shape our lives around who God is. We shape who God is around our lives. Surrounded by pain and chaos, sin and suffering, we start to believe that God must be distant, weak, and uncaring. But who would want to worship a God like that?

And so, we leave Him out. We reject Him. We move forward as our own gods, convinced we could do a better job. Yet the God we’ve rejected—the one shaped by our wounds, our disappointment, our desires—is not the real God. He is only a projection. Pastor Sam Allberry once said:

“Describe the God you’ve rejected.
Describe the God you don’t believe in.
Maybe I don’t believe in that God either.”

This isn’t just clever - it’s crucial. If we’re serious about discipleship, we have to ask: Who is God, really? Who is this Jesus we’re called to follow?

Years ago, while working as a director and choreographer, I (Callum) had the opportunity to work with a few well-known performers. You think you know people like that - you’ve seen them on stage or screen, recognise their voice, maybe even mimic their mannerisms. But when you actually meet them, they’re rarely what you imagined. Sometimes they surprise you for the better. Other times, they don’t. But either way, you only truly know them by spending time with them - not from afar, and not through guesswork.

It’s the same with God.

If we want a real relationship with Him - which is what discipleship is - we can’t begin with who we imagine God to be. We have to begin with who He really is.

The good news is: God has revealed Himself. We don’t have to guess. We have Scripture. And when we open it, we encounter the character of God over and over again - loving, kind, holy, wise, righteous, and good. But Scripture doesn’t just list attributes. The biblical authors use a far richer, deeper word to describe the fullness of who God is: glory.

The Apostle Paul, especially in 2 Corinthians 3, speaks often about “the glory of the Lord.” This glory isn’t just majesty or brilliance—it’s the weight, the substance, the all-encompassing reality of who God is.

To better understand this, 18th-century theologian Jonathan Edwards offers a profound insight. He wrote:

“God is distinguished from all other beings, and exalted far above
them chiefly by his divine beauty. Not sovereignty, not wrath,
not grace, not omniscience, not eternity, but beauty is what more
than anything else defines God’s very divinity.”

For Edwards, God’s glory was His beauty—His central, compelling, and attractive quality.

The psalmist David saw it too. He cried out in Psalm 27:3,

“One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.”

To see God truly is to see His beauty. Not just intellectually, but affectionately. Theologian Kevin Vanhoozer writes:

“Spiritual understanding involves the affections of the heart,
not simply the cogitations of the mind.”

This isn’t just knowledge - it’s beholding. It’s heart-level awe.

I (Callum) certainly don’t look like someone who climbs mountains - and to be fair, I’m not. But I have climbed a few in my time and one particular climb stands out. Nearly a decade ago, a friend of mine dragged me out of bed at 4 a.m., threw me into the back of his LandCruiser, and drove us over tree stumps and fields so we could spend a few hours scaling a mountain.

When we finally reached the summit, the view was breathtaking. But we didn’t pull out our phones to take a photo - not just because we were too tired, but because some things can’t be captured with a lens. Beauty like that isn’t meant to be consumed. It’s meant to be experienced with the heart.

Dane Ortlund puts it simply: the beauty of God “is not captured with a camera, but enjoyed with the heart.” 
And Tim Keller draws out the distinction this way:

“The religious person finds God useful,
but the real Christian finds God beautiful.
The religious is driven; the Christian is attracted.”

That might sound subtle, but it changes everything. A follower of Jesus “doesn’t merely rationally believe that God is glorious, but has a sense of the gloriousness of God in his heart.” (Kevin J. Vanhoozer). This isn’t abstract theology - it’s what happens when the heart sees the reality of God.

In the Old Testament, to experience this glory and beauty, people like David had to go to the temple. But Hebrews tells us something astonishing: the glory of God is no longer revealed in a building, but in a person.

“He [God] has spoken to us by his Son…
He is the radiance of the glory of God
and the exact imprint of his nature.” (Hebrews 1:1–3)

The glory of God is found in Jesus. Which means that if we want to know who God is, if we want to behold His beauty, we need only look to Christ.

This becomes deeply personal. Because now, when we ask what God is like, we don’t need to speculate. We can point to Jesus.

• How do we know God is loving? Not because life feels comfortable, but because Jesus laid down His life for His friends (John 15:13)
• How do we know God is merciful? Not because we avoid suffering, but because Jesus suffered in our place to free us from sin. (Isaiah 53:5)
• How do we know God is powerful? Not because He removes every hardship, but because He conquered death and rose from the grave. (1 Corinthians 15:54-55)
• How do we know God is generous? Not because of material abundance, but because He shares His resurrection life with us. (Romans 6:4-5)

Everything we need to know about who God truly is, we see in Jesus. Through His life, death, and resurrection, the fullness of God’s glory is revealed.  Getting the person of Christ right is absolutely essential, for "it it is precisely our false notions of Christ’s person that corrupt our love for him". (Barrett & Haykin, "Owen on the Christian Life).

So what does this mean for everyday life?

We might understand that our hearts shrink God down - that we’re tempted to imagine Him as smaller, less powerful, less present. And we might even grasp that the solution is to remember who He truly is in Jesus. But when life still feels full of pain, sorrow, and chaos - when we feel stuck in sin or crushed by circumstances - what difference does beholding Jesus really make?

Everything.

In 2 Corinthians 3:18, Paul writes:
“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord,
are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.”

This is the heart of it. When we behold God for who He truly is - not who we imagine Him to be - we are transformed. We’re changed into the very image of Christ, sharing in His beauty and glory. That transformation is not just for some future moment - it begins now. And it’s not superficial. It’s deep, internal, and lasting.

This is what theologians call sanctification. Jonathan Edwards called it beautification. But it’s critical to notice how this change happens. Is it through hard work, rule-following, or trying to be better? No. It happens by beholding. True transformation doesn’t come by striving - it comes by seeing. It doesn’t begin with self-effort, but with seeing the beauty of Christ. Dane Ortlund expresses this so clearly:

“We don’t kill sin the way a soldier kills an enemy in battle,
by zeroing in on the enemy himself.
Killing sin is a strange battle because it happens by looking away from the sin…
by looking at Jesus Christ.”

He goes on to say that sin loses its appeal as we become “re-enchanted” by the beauty of Jesus - just as a child’s toy cars lose their charm when they’re invited to a real racetrack. Sin begins to wilt when we’re captured by something greater - when we see Jesus in His glorious gentleness and dazzling love. Ortlund concludes:

“There is no special technique to mortifying sin.
You simply open your Bible and let God surprise you
with the wonder of his love, proven in Christ and experienced in the Spirit.”

Discipleship is not about doing more. It’s about beholding more. And as we do, God changes us from the inside out.

This is the heart of discipleship: a real, joyful relationship with Jesus where His beauty doesn’t just inspire us - it transforms us.

That’s why we must keep asking: Who are we imagining God to be?

• If we believe He’s angry, we’ll keep Him at a safe distance.
• If we believe He’s cold and detached, we’ll assume He doesn’t care.
• If we believe He’s a harsh taskmaster, we’ll live as though His love depends on our performance.

But if we believe Jesus is the glory of the Lord - if we open His Word and behold Him for who He truly is - then we’re not pushed away.
We’re drawn in. We want to know Him, love Him, and trust Him. Our hearts are pulled toward Him instead of hiding in fear.

So hear this clearly: your first step, your second step, and every step after that in following Jesus isn’t about doing more. It’s about beholding Him. Because as we do, the lies our hearts have believed about God begin to unravel, and the truth of who He really is takes their place.

This is our prayer for your heart throughout the journey of discipleship:

• That the gentle but powerful work of the Holy Spirit
• would draw you into the light of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ,
• exposing and untangling the lies your heart has imagined,
• and filling you instead with the truth of who He really is,
• freeing you to enjoy a life transformed into His likeness
• from one degree of glory to the next.

1. How have you personally experienced God’s character in your life?

• Think back to a time when God’s love, justice, mercy, or holiness (or any other characteristic) became real to you.
• How did that experience shape your understanding of who God is? Did it challenge or deepen your faith?
• What did you learn about His nature that you can carry with you into future challenges?

2. Which aspect of God’s character is most meaningful to you right now, and why?

• Is there a specific characteristic that resonates with your current season of life or personal experiences?
• For example, do you find hope in God’s faithfulness because you’ve experienced uncertainty, or comfort in His mercy because you’ve felt the weight of guilt?
• Share how this aspect of who God is has encouraged or challenged you.

3. What tends to be your default view of God?

What are you believing about God based on your experiences, fears or emotions?


• When you pray, do you see Him as distant or close?
• When life is hard, do you assume He is withholding, uncaring, or punishing you?
• When you sin, do you believe He is disappointed, angry, or ready to abandon you?

4. What does Scripture actually say about God?

Now compare your assumption with what the Bible says.
Some examples:

• If you assume God is distant, read Psalm 34:18
• If you assume God is powerless, read Jeremiah 32:27
• If you assume God is angry and impatient, read Exodus 34:6

5.
How can you grow in beholding and trusting more of God’s character?

• Are there characteristics of God you tend to overlook or struggle to believe in your daily life (e.g., His justice, wisdom, or compassion)?
• What could you do this week to intentionally focus on a characteristic of God that you’ve perhaps neglected?
• Consider practical steps such as praying specifically about that characteristic, meditating on Scripture, or asking others in your community how they’ve experienced it.

6. What specific step will you take to replace lies?


• What is one lie you’ve believed about God that you need to let go of?
• What scripture will you hold onto this week to replace that lie with truth?
• How can you make beholding God’s beauty a daily habit (prayer, Scripture, worship, community)?

"Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you,
which you received, in which you stand..."
(1 Corinthians 15:1)

Space is beautiful - its scale, size, stars, and colours are enough to make us marvel.

And the more you learn about stars and galaxies, the deeper that awe grows. But even knowing all we can about space - no matter how glorious it is - doesn’t fix what’s broken down here. It doesn’t heal our shame. It doesn’t restore our relationships. And it certainly doesn’t save us from sin and death.

Knowing what space is - admiring it from afar - is a bit like knowing who God is. You can recognise that God is beautiful. You can marvel at his glory. You can even commit your life to studying his character and memorising Scripture, like the Pharisees (Matthew 15:8).

But simply knowing who God is isn’t enough.

Even the demons know who God is - and shudder (James 2:19). When they came face to face with Jesus, their immediate response was often: “I know who you are! You are the Holy One of God!” (Mark 1:24).

So what’s the difference? What moves someone from simply knowing about God to actually being in relationship with him?

The answer is: knowing what God has done.

God has done many things. Scripture tells us that he made the stars (Psalm 147:4), sustains the breath of every living thing (Job 12:10), feeds the sparrows (Matthew 10:29), and causes the rain to fall (Matthew 5:45). Even in our own lives, we can point to countless ways God has been at work.

But we aren’t asking what God has done in general.
We’re asking: What has God done about the relationship between God and humanity?

There is no more important question you could ask - because this is our greatest problem. And if discipleship is about a relationship with Jesus - who is God - how can sinful people possibly draw near to his holiness, let alone be united with him?

The answer is—we can’t.
Not unless God does something.
And he has. It’s called the gospel.

When we ask, 'What has God done?', we’re pointing to the very centre of the what it means to trust in Jesus. The gospel is God's magnum opus - the climax of history and the centrepiece of the cosmos.

And one of the ways we know it is God's magnum opus is because it’s the very thing the enemy wants to blind us to:

“The god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God” (2 Corinthians 4:4).

Did you catch that? The devil’s primary tactic isn’t to frighten you with pitchforks - it’s to blind you to "the gospel of the glory of Christ". Because the gospel is where the glory of Jesus shines brightest.

As Kevin Vanhoozer puts it: “Jesus’ death and resurrection [the gospel] are the events by which God makes his cruciform glory known.” Cruciform glory is the kind of glory that shines through the cross.

Think of it this way:
Imagine someone tells you they’re a chef. How would you know if it was true? By the apron they wore? The knives they were holding? No - you’d know by the food they cooked you.

In the same way, who God is is revealed most clearly in what God has done. And so if you want to see the heart of God in full display - look at the gospel.

So what exactly is this gospel?

The apostle Paul defines it clearly:

“Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you… that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures” (1 Corinthians 15:1–4).

The gospel is the good news of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ - which really, is a tale of two hearts.

In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve walked in harmony with God (Genesis 3:8). It was a heart-to-heart connection - marked by closeness, trust, and joy (Genesis 2:25; Psalm 16:11). We were created to be with God (Isaiah 43:7), and as long as we remained in relationship with him, our hearts were full of life and blessing in his presence (Genesis 2:9; Psalm 36:9).

But that didn’t last.

In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve believed a lie about who God was. In their rebellion, they turned their hearts away from him. And what happened to the relationship? It broke.

Like a plant that had ripped itself up from the soil or a light who had unplugged itself from its source, we disconnected ourselves from the source of life - and our hearts died. Though physically alive, humanity became spiritually dead.

And the same is true for us. Sin doesn’t just make us guilty or morally compromised - it makes us spiritually dead (Ephesians 2:1).

But God didn’t leave us there. He could have. And he would have been just to do so. But God created us for a relationship with him, so he did something extraordinary - he came after us. The holy heart of God moved toward us in the person of Jesus Christ - the radiance of God’s glory and the exact imprint of his nature (Hebrews 1:3). This is how “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

If you want to see the heart of God, look at the cross because there is no greater love than this: that someone would lay down their life for another (John 15:13). And Jesus did that - willingly - for sinners like us. And in doing so he absorbed our sin, carried our shame, bore our judgment and was consumed by our deadness. Everything we chose when we turned away from God was placed upon him (Isaiah 53:5–6).

But why would he do that? Why would he become what we were?
So that, through his resurrection, we might become what he is: “the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21). See, through his resurrection, we received what we needed most to be in relationship with God: a new heart.
A clean heart.
A pure heart.
A heart that no longer turns away from God, but moves toward him - by the Spirit, in Christ.

In summary, the gospel is mostly simply that Jesus gave us his heart.
He has forgiven us, made us new in him and united us to himself - "For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3). This is why Paul can say, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me” (Galatians 2:20).

Through the cross, it is no longer two separate hearts - but our hearts found in Christ.
Christ and his bride - the Church - united as one, forever. (Ephesians 5:31-32)

This is who our God is.
And this is what he has done.

But if the gospel is true, why do our hearts still drift?
Why does it feel like we are constantly forgetting the gospel?
According to Scripture, once you’ve truly seen the gospel of the glory of Christ - you can’t unsee it. You are his. Forever (John 10:28-29). But while you’ve been given a new heart in Christ, your old self - that sinful nature - still lingers (Romans 8:1-11). It sticks around like a bad smell until Jesus returns and you are made fully new (Romans 7:22–25).

There’s a tension inside you now - a battle between who you once were, and who you’re becoming in Christ (Galatians 5:17). And although you can’t unsee the gospel, you can forget it. You can experience what theologian Paul Tripp calls “gospel amnesia.”

We forget what Jesus has done.
We forget who we are in him.
We forget what we’ve already received by grace (Ephesians 1:3–8).

As the old hymn Come Thou Fount says:
“Bind my wandering heart to thee.”
Why? “Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love.”

When we forget the gospel and because our hearts were designed to be captivated, we quickly find ourselves chasing a false gospel - one that doesn’t trust in what God has done, but in what we think we can do. See if any of these sound familiar:

• The self-help gospel: You’ll be happier if you become a better version of yourself.
• The prosperity gospel: You’ll be blessed with health, wealth, and comfort—if you just believe enough.
• The performance gospel: Jesus gave you a second chance—now it’s up to you to prove your worth.
• The therapeutic gospel: Jesus wants you to feel better, not necessarily be different.
• The religious gospel: Follow the rules, and you’ll be accepted.
• The progressive gospel: Jesus came to affirm your truth, not confront your heart.
• The deconstruction gospel: Jesus came to tear down the system—not to build a church.

But what is missing in all of them?
The cross.

Each of these false gospels assumes you can save - or at least validate - yourself.
But Jesus isn’t a coach, a guru, or a vibe. He is the crucified and risen King. That’s why Paul writes:
“I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel—which is really no gospel at all” (Galatians 1:6–7).

The true gospel is a gospel of grace - not of earning, proving, or performing. This is why gospel amnesia is so dangerous. Because it slowly convinces you that:

• “I’m not really loved by God… so I need to earn it.”
• "I’m not really saved by God… so I need to try harder.”
• “I’m not really seen by God… so I need others to notice me.”
• “I’m not really satisfied by God… so I need to find satisfaction somewhere else.”

It leads either to a superiority complex - “I’m doing just fine. I don’t need God.”
Or an inferiority complex - “I’m so bad that God could never love me.” 

But the gospel says something completely different. As Tim Keller puts it:

“The gospel is that I am so sinful that Jesus had to die for me,
yet so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me.
This leads to deep humility and deep confidence at the same time.
I can’t feel superior to anyone, and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone.”

Paul knew how easy it is to forget. That’s why he wrote, “Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you…” (1 Corinthians 15:1)

This is why discipleship can’t happen in isolation. Because when I forget the gospel, you can remind me. And when you forget, I can remind you. We need each other. We need a community that brings us back to what God has already done - again and again.

Years ago, I (Callum) was in a discipleship group chatting about how easy it is to forget the gospel - not just in crisis moments, but in ordinary ones. One example we were discussing was doomscrolling - that slow, numbing drift into your phone when you’re tired or flat.

But here’s the thing: Doomscrolling isn’t just forgetting how bad technology can be for you. It’s forgetting how good the gospel is for you. We needed to remember the gospel. So one of the guys in the group wrote a gospel reminder and I’ve kept it ever since. Here it is;

This is what discipleship is really about: reminding each other of what God has done - again and again -
so that, through remembering the good news of the gospel, we might be drawn into deeper relationship with Jesus. Yes, the gospel saves, but it also sustains. It draws you deeper into Christ. In fact, it is the only way we are drawn deeper into a relationship with Christ - and the only way we stay in it (Colossians 2:6–7).

And doomscrolling is just one example of where we forget the gospel. There are countless others. But praise God - every road can lead us back to the gospel of grace, if we’ll just remember the way.

That’s why we look to Jesus - and remember what He has done.  Because we don’t just need to hear the gospel once. We need to speak Jesus and the gospel - into the broken places of our lives again and again and again.

Because you don’t graduate from the gospel. It’s not step one of discipleship - it’s the foundation of it. It’s not the diving board into relationship with Jesus - it’s the pool we swim in every single day.

• So when you feel ashamed - remember the gospel, where Jesus bore your shame (Hebrews 12:2).
• When you feel unworthy - remember the gospel, where Jesus was mocked and rejected for you (Isaiah 53:3).
• When you feel like giving up - remember the gospel, where Jesus did not give up on you (Philippians 2:8).

What happened on that cross 2,000 years ago is not just a one-time-use event. It is the daily reminder that God set His heart on you long before you ever set your heart on Him. That is good news - for today, for tomorrow, and for every moment until Christ returns.

Go and live in the freedom of what God has already done!

1. Where are you most tempted to forget what Jesus has already done for you?
(E.g. When you feel anxious, ashamed, unseen, or dissatisfied—what gospel truth do you lose sight of?)

2. Which false gospel are you most drawn to currently—and why?
(E.g. performance, prosperity, self-help, therapeutic, religious, etc.)

3. What does that false gospel promise you? What has it cost you?

4. What specific truth of the TRUE gospel speaks against that false promise?
(What has Jesus already done that meets that same longing more fully?)

5. When was the last time you really remembered the gospel in a way that changed how you thought, felt, or acted?
(What was the situation? What truth about Christ came alive for you?)

6. Who can help remind you of the gospel when you forget it? Who can you help remember the gospel?
(What does it look like to help each other fight gospel amnesia?)

7. What would it look like to speak the gospel to yourself this week—in your ordinary moments?
(Try writing a short reminder of gospel truth to declare when you feel X.)
(Use bible verses to ground this declaration in God's Word. e.g. John 1:12 - I am a child of God)

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing
in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ.”
Ephesians‬ ‭1‬:‭3‬ (NLT)

Previously, we saw that Jesus defined discipleship not as rule-following or ladder-climbing, but as a relationship with Him. Then we looked at God’s heart - who he was and what he has done in and through Christ. We saw the dangers of imagining God to be someone he’s not and forgetting the gospel - and the joys and rewards of knowing who he really is and the transforming power of remembering the gospel.

In this session, we move from looking at God’s heart to looking at ours. And we’re going to do that by asking a question that every person will ask at some point:

Who am I…?

We tend to ask this question when we hit some kind of existential crisis—like when Derek Zoolander stares into a puddle and asks, “Who am I?” because his modelling career was spiralling downward.

The world tells us that identity comes through self-definition, visualisation, or imagination. It says you can find identity in your occupation, your achievements, your cultural background, your family history, or even the sport you play or the team you support. It might come from a self-help guru, a fitness plan, a relationship, or countless other avenues.

But for followers of Jesus, our primary identity isn’t found in these things.
It isn’t something we discover by peeling back the layers of our personality to find some hidden, authentic self deep inside.
We aren’t meant to look within to find who we are—we’re meant to look outside ourselves, to our Creator and Saviour, to see who He has made us to be.

When we ask this question in light of the gospel, we’re not starting with our uniqueness or personality (though Jesus absolutely delights in both—remember, He made you!). Instead, we’re asking a much deeper, more transformative question:

Who am I in Christ?

When you put your faith in Jesus—when you trust that His life, death, and resurrection were in your place—then you are in Christ.
You have a new identity.
And it’s not something you earn.
It’s a gift—freely given by your gracious Saviour. 

Jeff Vanderstelt puts it like this:

Our identity shapes everything about us—how we see ourselves, how we interact with others, and how we respond to life’s challenges. Yet, too often, we build our identity on things that shift and fade—our achievements, failures, relationships, or emotions. 

But Scripture tells us that when we are in Christ, God has taken up residence in our hearts. The Holy Spirit lives in all who put their faith and trust in Jesus. Growing in our gospel identity, which is just another way of saying growing more into who we are in Christ, is the process of our hearts becoming more like Jesus’ heart. 

“Who am I?” matters because discipleship is a process of letting go of self-definition and allowing our hearts to be shaped by Christ.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." (2 Corinthians 5:17)

If you are in Christ, then you are not the same person you were before. Your identity has fundamentally changed. You’ve been given a new heart, a new status, a new future—one that is completely bound up in Him.

This is what it means to be united to Christ. And that union is not just positional—it is personal. Christ has given us new hearts. Day by day, the Spirit is at work within us, shaping our desires, softening our resistance, and helping us to love what God loves.

This new identity isn’t built on our feelings, circumstances, or achievements—it is grounded in the unshakable reality of our union with Christ.

Scripture tells us time and time again that if you have put your faith in Jesus, then you are "in Christ".

What an unusual idea—that we are "in Christ". What does it mean, and how do we make sense of it?

In his book, "One With My Lord", Sam Allberry explores this concept in great detail and, at one point, refers to an analogy where he imagines one is abroad and desires to fly home to Perth. He asks;

Allberry's point is that, like the plane, what happens to Christ, happens to us if we are IN Him.

One of the richest examples comes from Ephesians 1:3–6:

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.”(Ephesians 1:3–6) (NLT)

This is what it means to be united with Jesus: your spiritual reality is now shaped by WHO HE IS and WHAT HE HAS DONE. Not who you are and what you have done.

Let’s slow down and take this in for a moment.

Paul says that if you are in Christ, then every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms is already yours (v3). Not because you’ve earned it. Not because your circumstances always feel blessed. But because your heart has been united with Jesus’ heart, and God withholds nothing from His children.

This is your NEW identity.

Verse 4 says that before the foundation of the world, God chose you — in Christ. Not reluctantly. Not randomly. He chose you in love. Before your heart ever turned toward Him, His heart was already set on you.

In verse 5, Paul says God adopted us into His family through Jesus. That word “adopted” is one of the most beautiful words in all of Scripture. It means you weren’t just rescued—you were wanted. God didn’t just forgive you; He welcomed you into His family as a dearly loved son or daughter.

You may have grown up feeling like a mistake. You may have wondered if you were truly wanted or valued. But in Christ, your identity is secure: God has no accidental children. None.

Every single adoption into His family was His idea—and it gives Him great pleasure to call you His own.

And what’s more, this new family status cannot be revoked. Your union with Christ means your identity is sealed in eternity. As Romans 8 reminds us, nothing can separate us from His love—not death or life, not angels or demons, not even our own doubts or failures.

That’s the heart of your heavenly Father toward you.

So, who are you in Christ?

You are chosen, blessed, and adopted.
You are fully wanted and deeply loved.

And as you grow in your identity in Christ, your heart is being shaped to mirror His—to love what He loves, to delight in what He delights in, and to rest in the security of being His child.

It’s like putting on a pair of glasses for the very first time.
Before, you didn’t realise how much you were missing—shapes were fuzzy, colours were dull, and you just assumed that’s how the world looked. But once you put those lenses on, everything is sharper, brighter, more beautiful.

That’s what your identity in Christ does—it’s new gospel lenses for your heart. It changes the way you see God, yourself, and the world around you. It reshapes how you think, how you live, and what you long for.

If I believe that I am rejected, I will live trying to earn approval from others or fearing that I’m never enough. But in Christ, I am accepted.

“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12)

You no longer have to live trying to earn approval from others or fearing that you’re not enough. You are already accepted—fully, permanently—by the One whose opinion matters most.

If I believe that I am broken beyond repair, I will carry shame and hopelessness like a weight I can’t put down. But in Christ, I am complete.

“For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him…” (Colossians 2:9–10)

In Christ, you lack nothing. Yes, we feel our weakness, and yes, we still wrestle with sin—but spiritually, you have been made whole. You’ve been filled up with the fullness of Christ.

If I believe that I am spiritually unsafe, at risk or in danger, I will live in constant fear. But in Christ, I am secure.

“And it is God who establishes us with you in Christ, and has anointed us, and who has also put his seal on us and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee.” (2 Corinthians 1:21–22)

You are sealed by the Spirit and held in the unshakable hands of your heavenly Father. Your salvation isn’t fragile—because your God, and His love for you, is unbreakable.

If I believe that my future is uncertain, I will live anxious, restless, and unsure of where my life is heading. But in Christ, I can be assured.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

God is not guessing with your life. You don’t need to fear the unknown. Even when you can’t trace His hand, you can trust His heart. He is working for your good—even when it’s hard to see.

If I believe that I am insignificant, I will struggle to see any purpose or meaning in my life. But in Christ, I have significance.

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10)

You were handcrafted by God on purpose, for a purpose. You are not invisible. You matter to your heavenly Father, and He has good works prepared just for you to walk in.

If I believe that I am too weak to keep going, I will live defeated or constantly be living on the edge of giving up. But in Christ, I am empowered.

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

Your strength doesn’t come from yourself—it flows from Christ in you. His Spirit empowers you to persevere, to stand firm, to love deeply, and to follow Him even when it’s hard.

Whatever your story, these gospel identities speak directly to the lies we carry in our hearts. They meet us where we are—but they don’t leave us there.
Because our union with Christ means our hearts are being renewed.

And the more we rest in these truths, the more our hearts begin to believe them, live out of them, then the more we will delight in the God who gave them to us.

No matter what the world says about you—no matter what your past whispers or your present circumstances shout—who you are in Christ is true, foundational, and unchanging.

But here’s the thing: that truth will be challenged.
There’s a battle going on—not just around you, but within you.

Because while your identity in Christ is secure, your heart is still in the process of being renewed. And sadly, that process doesn’t happen without resistance.

Knowing our identity in Christ is not just an encouragement—it’s a weapon.

As disciples, we are in a daily battle against sin. But here’s the good news: in Christ, even our relationship to sin has changed.

Before Christ, we were enslaved to sin.
But now, we are free.

Sin still tempts us, but it no longer defines us. It’s no longer WHO WE ARE. And through the power of the Holy Spirit, we now have the ability to choose righteousness—to respond not with old patterns, but with gospel fruit that is growing in increasing measure.

How do we do that?

“We need to identify the lies we believe and replace them with the truths of the gospel.” —Jeff Vanderstelt, Gospel Fluency, p. 58

Remember that we’ve already looked at this concept over the past few weeks: Belief doesn’t just happen in our minds—it happens at a heart level. What we truly believe will shape our desires, decisions, and identity. That’s why renewing our hearts involves confronting the lies we’ve absorbed and replacing them with the truth of who we are in Christ.

Because at the cross, Jesus didn’t just cancel the record of your sin—He crushed the power of sin itself. He took the full weight of its penalty, He broke the chains that held you, and He silenced the enemy’s right to accuse you. In His resurrection, He proved that sin’s reign is over. Its grip has been broken. Its claim on your life is gone. And now, His victory is your victory—so you are no longer a slave to what once mastered you… You are free.

When you feel trapped in sin, the gospel declares that you are free in Christ:

“We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.” (Romans 6:6)

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)

When you think you are alone in the fight, the gospel assures you that God is with you:

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20b)

Sin is easier to fight when we stand side by side, reminding one another who we are in Christ and speaking the gospel into the places where our hearts still need to believe it.

This is why discipleship can not be done alone. We’re not just fighting sin—we’re helping each other hold on to truth.

It’s one thing to know your identity in Christ, but what does it look like to actually live in light of it? How do we move from knowing these truths in our heads to believing and embodying them from the heart?

Paul gives us a key insight: "We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5)

This means actively surrendering our thoughts, emotions, and decisions to Jesus—bringing them into alignment with the truth of who we are in Him. The battle is often won or lost in the heart, where belief is formed and reshaped.

But the beauty of the gospel is that we’re not left to figure this out on our own.

“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.” (2 Peter 1:3–4)

This divine power is the Holy Spirit—God’s own presence in your heart—actively at work, shaping your desires, renewing your affections, convicting you of sin, and drawing you closer to Christ.
And the more we depend on Him, the more we begin to see His power in our everyday lives: in the way we speak, respond, forgive, serve, and love.

So who are you?
You are a new creation.
You are adopted and loved.
You are free and victorious.
You are never alone.
You are in Christ.

1. What does it mean to be "in Christ"?

• Read 2 Corinthians 5:17. What does this passage say about your identity?
• Sam Allberry uses the analogy of being "in the plane" to describe what it means to be in Christ. How does this analogy help you understand your relationship with Jesus?
• What are some ways you’ve struggled to believe that your identity is fully found in Christ?

2. How does your gospel identity shape the way you see yourself?

• Our world tells us to define ourselves by achievements, experiences, or feelings. How does the gospel offer a better foundation?
• Think about a time when you placed your identity in something other than Christ. How did that impact your thoughts and actions?
• How can knowing that your identity is received, not achieved, bring freedom to your life?

3. What difference does your gospel identity make in your daily life?

• Read 2 Peter 1:3-4. What does it mean that God has given us "everything we need for life and godliness"?
• What are some ways you can practically live out of your new identity in Christ rather than falling back into old ways of thinking?
• What role does the Holy Spirit play in helping you walk in your gospel identity each day?

4. How does your identity in Christ change how you fight sin?

• Read Romans 6:6-7. How does being "in Christ" change your relationship with sin?
• Jeff Vanderstelt says, "We need to identify the lies we believe and replace them with the truths of the gospel." What are some lies you tend to believe about yourself, and what gospel truths counter them?
• What practical steps can you take to replace lies with truth when temptation arises?

5. How does your gospel identity affect your relationships?

• If your identity is secure in Christ, how does that change the way you respond to criticism, rejection, or failure?
• How does knowing you are fully accepted by God shape the way you extend grace to others?
• Is there a specific relationship in your life where you need to apply the truth of your gospel identity more fully?

6. Personalising Gospel Identity: Holding Onto the Truth of Adoption

• Gospel identities often resonate more deeply depending on personal experiences. Which gospel identity (e.g., accepted, free, significant, secure, adopted child, redeemed) stands out to you right now, and why?
• Consider sharing how this particular gospel identity is meaningful to you with your group. How can you encourage one another to live confidently as beloved children of God?

Example: Holding Onto the Truth of Adoption

Theology of Adoption Applied
Adoption is not just a theological concept—it’s a life-altering reality. Before Christ, we were spiritual orphans, lost and without a home, but in His great love, God didn’t just rescue us—He made us His own. Ephesians 1:4-5 tells us that before the foundation of the world, God chose us, predestined us for adoption, and took great delight in calling us His children. This means that no matter our earthly circumstances—whether we come from loving homes or broken ones, whether we feel wanted or forgotten—we have a Father in heaven who has intentionally and joyfully made us part of His family. And because our adoption is secured in Christ, it can never be undone. Unlike human adoption, where relationships can strain or even fracture, God’s adoption is eternal. He does not regret choosing you. He does not waver in His love. You are not an afterthought, a burden, or an obligation—you are His beloved child, fully embraced and forever secure. When doubts creep in and tell you that you are alone, unwanted, or unworthy, take those thoughts captive and replace them with the truth: You are chosen. You are cherished. You are home. And nothing—not your past, not your failures, not even your own doubts—can separate you from the love of your Father (Romans 8:38-39).

• Read Ephesians 1:3-6. How does this passage speak to your identity as a child of God?
• Adoption into God’s family means that He chose you before the foundation of the world (v4) and that He delights in calling you His child (v5). How does this truth challenge or encourage you?
• If you have experienced broken or distant relationships—especially with earthly parents—how does the reality of being fully adopted and loved by your heavenly Father bring hope?
• When you face doubts or struggles, what specific promises from Scripture can you hold onto to remind yourself of your secure place in God’s family?
• How can you actively take thoughts captive and proclaim the truth of your adoption in Christ to yourself when you are tempted to believe lies about your worth or belonging?

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love ONE ANOTHER: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
—John 13:34–35 (ESV)

In this session, we move on to our next question, but before we look at that, we need to get existential for a moment: so ask yourself… What would you say is your greatest need? What couldn’t you live without? Chocolate? Netflix? Coffee in the morning? That might feel true - but studies are showing us more and more that what we really need, and what we aren’t getting enough of, is one another. Now, I know there are some doubts stirring right now among all of the introverts in the room, but it’s true.

The connection you have with others - being together or with one another is one of the most fundamental needs in your life right now. Many of you probably already know that social isolation can affect your mental health, but do you know that it can also affect your physical health? Check this out;

The results are conclusive - mentally, socially AND physically, we were not designed to be alone.

This is why when someone commits a serious crime in prison, the harshest punishment is Solitary confinement. Locked away from human touch, from human voice, from human presence - people start to lose their minds. Why? Because we weren’t made to be alone. And you don’t need to be in a prison cell to feel it.

One in four Australians reports feeling persistently lonely. And doctors now tell us what the Bible has said all along: connection is not optional. A relationship with others - leads - quite literally - to life. And disconnection leads to decay and death. We were designed to live life and be with ONE ANOTHER.

Genesis 2:18 records the very first “not good” in all of creation. Up until that point, God had spoken the world into being and declared each part “good.”
But when He looked at Adam, He said: “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

Now, that wasn’t a design flaw. Adam’s aloneness was not a mistake. It was intentional—because Adam was made in the image of a God who is a “WE” rather than just a me.

God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—exists eternally in a perfect, loving relationship. He has never been alone. And so, to be created in His image means we, too, were created for relationship—both with God and with others. From the very beginning, God stamped His relational nature onto us. He was highlighting the reality that His image is not individualistic—it’s relational.

Which means this: we cannot become who we were meant to be in isolation. To be fully human is not just to be me as an individual. To bear the triune God's likeness is to be connected. You and I can’t truly reflect the image of God on our own. To be human is to be in community.

That’s why discipleship can never be done alone. Because a relationship with Jesus is also a relationship with His people. Community isn’t just helpful for following Jesus—it’s essential.

Jesus makes it clear when speaking of the most repeated one-another commands:
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love ONE ANOTHER: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34–35)

That command is not aimed at individuals trying to grit their teeth and muster up more love on their own—it’s a vision for a community shaped by His love. Discipleship is not simply “me becoming like Jesus,” but us becoming like Jesus, together.

This is the mark of true discipleship—not just believing, but belonging. Not just “Jesus and me,” but “Jesus and us,” bound together by God’s redeeming love.

Community, by itself, doesn’t change us. You can sit in a group, attend church every week, and even be surrounded by people—and still remain unchanged. But one of the most remarkable effects of discipleship in community is that heart-level change becomes more possible than it is if you remain in isolation.

As others help us to see who Jesus is—and who we are in light of Him—the very desires of our hearts begin to shift. Others help us see our need for Jesus and the gospel in ways that we could never do on our own.

It's quite common for someone in your discipleship group to point out something you hadn’t seen for yourself: a place where you aren't believing gospel truth; false belief being exposed; a place where repentance is needed; and many other things our hearts can be blinded to.

Jeff Vanderstelt puts it this way:

Left to ourselves, we don’t see clearly. We all have blind spots. And we all need people who love us enough to step into those blind spots and point us back to Jesus. When we are known and loved in an authentic Christian community, those blind spots can be revealed in a relationship of trust.

This is why Proverbs 27:17 says:
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Sharpening doesn’t happen without friction. Growth opportunities increase in community. Real heart change happens—not in isolation—but in relationship.

Paul makes it even clearer in 2 Corinthians 3:18:
“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18)

Notice those two little words: we all. Transformation is communal. As WE behold Christ together, WE are changed into His image.

And this isn’t the only place Paul uses this kind of language. In fact, in his letters to churches, Paul almost exclusively speaks in the plural! We can’t see it very well in our English translations, but where we see the word “you,” it’s most often plural, not singular. We tend to read it the other way around, but it’s a “you all.” In Aussie slang, it’s a “youse.” In the Southern States of America, it’s “y’all.”

Here’s the punchline: we are better together. Isolation whispers that you’ll be better on your own. But grace-filled community where you are known and loved proves the opposite—you are freer, and stronger when you walk with others.

What’s interesting is that long before society figured out that life is healthier and better when we do it with ONE ANOTHER, God revealed it to us through His Word.

The Greek word that is translated “one another” (ἀλλήλων) appears about 100 times in the New Testament. It’s the Bible’s way of saying: if you want to live life to the fullest - if you want to experience life the way it was really meant to be lived - then remember to “ONE ANOTHER” each other.

Let’s look at a few:
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

“…forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:13)

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

“…through love serve one another.” (Galatians 5:13)

This should go without saying: you can’t “one another” by yourself.

 A good friend of DC Pete Sondergeld, shares about this concept in his book "Friend of Friend". He pointed out that all the way back in the garden, the problem with taking the fruit was, yes, not trusting God, but it was not trusting God because the humans thought life would be better without Him. This was the great lie back then, and it’s the great lie today - that your life is better alone;

“I won’t call or text them—if they needed me, they’d reach out. My evening will be better if I just switch off.”

“I won’t offer to help—it’s good for them to work it out for themselves. My week will be smoother if I just focus on myself.”

“I won’t share that struggle—it’s too embarrassing. If they knew the real me, they’d think less of me.”

Adam and Eve believed the lie that it would be better alone, and so they hid from God and from each other. How did that go for them?

How is that going for you today in the places you want to hide or stay isolated?

Is it REALLY better alone?

Following Jesus is not just believing—it’s belonging. The moment your heart is changed and you trust Jesus for your salvation, you become part of God’s family; you become part of Christ’s body. It’s not just Jesus and me. It’s Jesus and us.

Why?

Because, Jesus designed a relationship with him to INCLUDE a relationship with one another - walking with Jesus IS better together!

Imagine for a moment that someone in your Missional Community Group loses their job. They’re suddenly under financial pressure and battling feelings of failure. It would be easy for them to retreat into isolation—skip Sunday services and discipleship, avoid talking about it, and keep their struggles hidden.

But instead, picture what happens when they are known and loved by their community. Someone drops off groceries at their front door. Another friend offers to babysit the kids so the couple can have space to talk and pray together. Someone else sits with them over coffee, listens without judgment, and reminds them that their worth isn’t in a job but in Christ.

And in a discipleship gathering, when they finally find the courage to admit, “I feel like I’ve failed as a parent and a follower of Jesus,” the group doesn’t shame them. Instead, they pray, they weep with them, they remind them of the gospel. Their worth and value were not found in their work, but first and foremost in Jesus Christ!

That’s the picture of better together. That’s what it looks like when the invitation to do life with one another comes alive in real time. It’s not theory; it’s the everyday gospel at work. There was Care in action for the practical, but more importantly, they ministered to the heart when it was exposed.

Now let’s be honest—community isn’t always easy. Opening up your life to others feels risky. Allowing people to see your struggles and failures takes courage.
Authenticity can be uncomfortable, inconvenient, and counterintuitive.

But so was the cross.

Jesus isolated Himself from the Father so that you would never have to be alone again. The cross was the most lonely place a human could be - completely exposed. Yet, Jesus looked beyond it, as he embraced it, to see joy in our redemption.

Hebrews 12:2 reminds us:
“…for the joy that was set before him [Jesus] endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2)

Jesus embraced aloneness and separation - he suffered for the sake of His people, His bride, the church.

And that church—messy as it is—is God’s plan for your growth.

Sin thrives in isolation but suffocates in the light. And that kind of light only shines when we walk together.

That’s why James says:
“Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

Yes, it feels risky. But in a grace-filled community, risk leads to freedom. Healing can take place in our one anothering! To be known and loved despite your faults is one of the greatest blessings of discipleship.

It’s a bit like the first time you share something personal in your discipleship group. Your heart races. You’re thinking, “What if they judge me? What if this changes how they see me?”

But then, that vulnerability is met with acceptance and encouragement. Suddenly, you realise you’re not alone. You are part of a team. What felt risky becomes the first step toward freedom.

And that is the reward: to be part of a community where grace is not theory but practice, where healing flows through honesty and vulnerability, where the love of Christ is made visible not just in sermons, but in lives intertwined.

Now, some of you might be thinking: “But I’ve been hurt by the church. Community has left me bruised, not built up.”

If that’s your story, hear this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

And let’s be honest—Scripture doesn’t hide the mess. The early church wasn’t a highlight reel of perfect fellowship. It was full of conflict, division, hypocrisy, immaturity, and sin (just read 1 Corinthians!). God’s people have always been riddled with dysfunction.

And yet… still beloved. The church is still called “the body of Christ.” Apparently, to Jesus, it is still worth building.

The church has always been flawed—and yet it has always been His Bride.

Here’s the good news: in a gospel-shaped community, hurt can be met with healing, failure can be met with grace, and sin can be met with truth and restoration. This is the intrusive community of grace we all need. This is where the invitation to “one-anothering” comes alive—not just in warm greetings, but in costly forgiveness, patient bearing, and tender-hearted mercy.

Colossians 3:13 calls us to:
“…bear with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:13)

Think of a family road trip. Someone gets carsick, someone else complains about the music, and there’s always an argument over snacks. But even if there are bumps and detours along the way, you will arrive at the destination together. The church is the same. Not perfect, but bound by love — a love that conquered the grave so that we could all share the same eternal destination.

It’s not always going to be easy. But it is worth it. Even when it’s messy—it’s still better together.

Why?

Together we are stronger. The enemy loves to pick off stragglers, but when we walk in community, we are fortified.

Ephesians 6:10–11 says:
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” (Ephesians 6:10–11)

The greatest war isn’t out there in the headlines—it’s the war for your heart. That’s where the enemy schemes and attacks. The Christian life is war, so we can’t live with a peacetime mentality. In the battle, lone soldiers don’t last long. We need each other’s shields, prayers, and encouragement to keep standing.

Picture a row of soldiers locking shields. One alone would be vulnerable, but together they form a wall. That’s the church: not isolated individuals, but a battalion standing shoulder to shoulder.

But here’s the good news: Christ our Redeemer has already won the decisive victory by His life, death, and resurrection. And now, as His people, we get to apply the spoils of that victory to our everyday lives—together.

It’s like a stained-glass window. One piece of coloured glass on its own doesn’t look like much. But when all the pieces are fitted together and the light shines through, you see the full picture. That’s what the world sees when the church reflects the light of Christ together.

Jesus says:
“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
(John 13:35)

Discipleship - that is, a relationship with Jesus - is better together - not just for our sake, but for the sake of the world around us! They get to see who Christ is through who we are.

So, Who Are We?

We are the glory of Christ on display.
We are a community who LOVE one another - imperfectly yes, but gloriously nonetheless.
We are his body.
We are better together. everyday lives—together.